Hallmark and romance stories make "true love" and finding your "soul mate" seem very easy and self-evident. But in real life being able to differentiate real love from infatuation or lust is more difficult. That's why allowing the definition of love from the God who created love and is love Himself is a much better solution than our own ideas.
So if you will notice in I Corinthians chapter 13 every aspect of love is not a feeling but a choice of action. If I am "in love" with a person because of all he or she does for me or how I feel when I am with them then that sounds a lot like infatuation or even lust. If I see how I can be a blessing and asset to them, now I am thinking in terms of love. Now be careful because this mindset must be on both sides to create a truly loving relationship. A "Taker" will find a person who is more "Giving" and appeal to them on the basis that they need their help to be good or stay on track. This is a dangerous leech of a partner and you will find they will drain you of all life within a very few years. So, there must be a balance between both of you having the mind set of a "Giver" as well as the joy of having your needs met.
Feeling in love is short term and different than being in love. Being in love means that you see a greater purpose for your life to benefit the Kingdom of God as a teammate with the one you love. Being in love means you honor and admire this person even when you are mad at them for something. Being in love does mean you are a better version of you with them and they are a better version of themselves with you. But your forward growth in character and life purpose is not dependent on the other person.
True love means that if you marry you will work at making choices of love as described in I Corinthians 13 all the days of your life no matter how you are feeling. Love is not valentine hearts and flowers. They feel great but they don't last. True love is finding a person who is worthy of your commitment to benefit them all the days of your life. Infatuation and lust feel good but have long term heartache built right into the system.
God's kind of giving, blessing love builds and grows to something better than you thought you could attain. and it has long term satisfying results. So here's to "true love" on Valentine's Day and every day.
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